"In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony."

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

The Crying Game - can someone explain the rules please

A crying baby is one of the hardest things about motherhood.  They can’t tell you what is wrong and yet all you want to do is fix it.  You have fed, changed, winded and cuddled your baby, yet nothing seems to work.  All you can do is try to remain unstressed and get through it.

Hannah used to cry a lot when she was little but only when she was put down.  It was hard to do anything as she was in your arms all day but then with three other children at school, it wasn’t the end of the world to sit and cuddle her all day (and evening). 

Nathaniel on the other hand, is a completely different baby.  For the last six weeks (he hardly cried at first), it seems that he has done one of three activities – sleeping, eating or crying – and nothing in between.  Thus, this blog has been a bit neglected as it was a lower priority than five children, housework, shopping, business research, getting out of the house to health visitors etc.

The one thing that has made the crying bearable is that Nathaniel sleeps well, both in the day and night, which gives time to recharge my batteries.  However, I would still love to spend my time with Nathaniel being happy rather than being distressed.  

You would have thought that having four babies already, I would have all the answers but this goes to show that every baby is so different and that you have to learn from your baby what he/she needs.  I am still learning about Nathaniel - who he is, what his likes and dislikes are, his different cries etc.  And as soon as I feel we have reached that point of understanding, I know something will change and I will be on that learning journey again.  I know this because I have done it four times before.  So while having five children doesn't give me all the answers, it does give me the knowledge that each new baby is different and individual - from the moment he/she is born.  To me, this is amazing - that babies have their own unique personality and needs from birth (or, as I believe, from the womb).

So, while I don't have all the answers, I am prepared to listen and hope that I can understand Nathaniel over time.  Already, I know there are toys he strongly dislikes and ways that he doesn't like to be held.  Finding out what he doesn't like seems to be easier than what he does like though as he tells me (loudly) when something doesn't meet his expectations.  

My Mum tells me that I was a demanding baby (as I didn't stop crying) yet I feel that I have always been determined and independent.  My crying was just an aspect of my personality.  In the same way, I believe that Nathaniel is strong-willed, energetic and  resilient- traits that can be positive in today's world.  I will try to remind myself of these positives when he is having a long crying spell - easier said than done but I will try.


  1. I am your newest follower on GFC.
    I think we have lots in common - I am a working mum and a teacher too...but only have two kids.
    Not sure how you do it all. Good luck.

  2. My youngest cried all the time when he was little and has a number of temper tantrums now (he's 2 1/2). He is far ahead on his speech and development. I just blame the crying on him being smart and not knowing how to express himself the way that he wants to. Good luck! New follower on GFC from bloggy moms, look forward to your future posts! You can find me at


  3. Crying babies are a shock to the system! My first was so content she barely uttered a word, my second cried for the first years of her life at EVERY opportunity and JUST BECAUSE SHE COULD!. My last barely cried either. It will get better, the crying will stop but watch out for rebellion, heartache, boyfriends/girlfriends etc etc!
    Have a great day, thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog when I found it this morning.