Eeeek. A birthday. And a round number - 35. For some reason, I am not a fan of birthdays. Not sure why but if I could get away with ignoring it, I would. Of course, I am grateful to those who have sent cards and presents but I just dread it each year. Still, it is only for 24 hours and then it is over for another 364 days - thank goodness.
So, I am now 35 and apparently middle-aged. I certainly don't feel it though. Look like it maybe! More like 21 most of the time. Certainly don't feel mature enough to be responsible for five children and a mortgage. Oh, and the cats (and husband). Maybe one day, I will feel my age. But then the older I get, the quicker time goes, so perhaps I will never catch it up.
I wonder what this year will bring? Well, the first thing will be my son's GCSE exam results tomorrow. I am not sure who is more worried - him or me. And it only seems like yesterday that I was getting my own exam results. Keeping everything crossed that he will be pleased and that it is enough to get onto the college courses that he wants to do. If not, I am not sure what he will do (or what I can do to sort it out).
Other things this year? Well, no more pregnancies, that is for sure. I think five children is more than enough although I do enjoy being pregnant. So, I am going to distract myself by throwing myself into running my own business and working hard in my employed status, as well as running around after my children and supporting them in their hobbies and interests.
I am also really hoping to write a book but that is on the back burner for now as I keep changing my mind about the topic and don't have the time at present anyway. But I will do it! I think the way forward is to make a decision, set the alarm for 5am every morning and just do it. I have 7 months left of maternity leave so 1 month to decide and 6 months to write it. Okay, realistically, maybe another couple of years but I might actually start this year.
I also would like to take up some form of fitness. After all, I am middle-aged now and will need to start working at keeping myself trim. Not sure what to do though. I have never stepped into a gym in my life and don't fancy starting now with all of those fit and healthy 20 year olds. Running is free but I am useless at it. Maybe going back to dance classes is the answer, although I need a babysitter so that is also problematic. The simple answer is to keep doing what I have been doing - nothing!
So halfway to retirement (well, I think it will be at least 70 by the time I get there) and am I happy in work? Actually, yes. I wouldn't change my job although I wouldn't mind cutting the hours a little to have a bit more time for other interests in the week but wouldn't we all? Unfortunately, the pay isn't the same for part-time as full-time and my mortgage is a long way to being paid off. Still, I am in a job that I enjoy and not everyone can say that.
I also have a lot to be grateful for - friends in particular. I am blessed by good friends and I don't know what I would do without them. I also have five beautiful and healthy children. They may not be angels (and no children or adult is) but I am proud of them all. Well, I am today. Ask me tomorrow when Michael gets his exam results and the answer might be different, but today they are all fantastic in my eyes.
Only two hours left and that will be another birthday over for another year and I have to remember another age. Thirty-five. When I was 15 years old, that seemed like an ancient age. Now I have reached it and it seems far less ancient. How our perspectives change with age. I wonder what else will change before my next birthday?